


to love and be loved

by g0ryllama



Series: Give Me All Your Kisses (The Birds and The Bees) [6]
Category: Moominvalley (Cartoon 2019), Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson, 楽しいムーミン一家 | Moomin (Anime 1990)
Genre: Alcohol, Casual Intimacy, F/F, Hair Brushing, Jealousy, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sleepovers, Unrequited Love, fic series related warnings in a/n, hell yeahhhhh babey, its all soft, soft, way too many discussions of relationships that arent theirs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 12:56:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20026195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/g0ryllama/pseuds/g0ryllama
Summary: Snorkmaiden looks so dejected when she thinks no one's looking, her smile small and honey eyes glazed over with tears Little My knows she won't shed.Little My might not understand completely (after all, they've all known for years that her idiot brother and his best friend were more than just friends), but she can't stand to see the snork so upset.





	to love and be loved

**Author's Note:**

> heyo
> 
> basics, if you wanna know the mood of me writing this fic, its 'i picture it soft, and i dont just ache, i sob'
> 
> cool thanks
> 
> (warning for mentions of pregnant snufkin and sexual activities but like...its not too descriptive so i didnt rate it, instead choosing to warn here cause i couldnt decide what to rate it cause m is too much but t isnt enough ya know?)
> 
> after [chapter 7](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19043995/chapters/45915538) of tied to you, but i guess you could read this separately and have a pretty good idea of what's happening

If there's something Little My enjoys more than annoying her little brother, it's making fun of both him and Moomintroll. And now she has the perfect ammunition.

She watches Moominmamma disappear into the house before turning, mischief plain on her face. “So… I’m assuming it was a good night in the mountains?”

As expected, Snufkin looks both appalled and mortified, either that she remembered or that she was right. Maybe both. Moomintroll doesn't look much better off, eyes wide and panicked, fulfilling the exact reaction she'd wanted.

About to say more, to dig deeper, Snorkmaiden gasps her name in a reprimanding manner that doesn't quite reach her face, despite the scandalised expression there. "Don't be so crass!"

"What? We were all thinking it," Little My shrugs as she moves from the haybale up onto Snorkmaiden's shoulder. The snork doesn't tell her to move so she sits, hands tangling into her fur in a way she hopes doesn't give away too much. "They definitely fucked that day."

Snorkmaiden sighs, but there's no heat in it, although she can't decipher quite the emotion that is actually there. And that's a problem.

Over the years, Little My likes to think that she and Snorkmaiden have become best friends, or at least something close to it. And as much as she knows that her friend has moved on from Moomin, even before they broke up, there is still something there, unsurprisingly. Little My doesn't understand what's so amazing about the moomin that  _ two  _ different people could be quite so infatuated with him, but she won't question it just yet.

Where was she going with that train of thought? That punch was more potent than she thought.

"I don't get it?" Sniff whines, but Little My is more preoccupied with pulling a face at Snufkin when he glares at her to answer him. She'd call him a floozy but that might hurt the mumrik's feelings too much.

Snorkmaiden is oddly quiet, as is Snufkin, for most of the rest of the night, the latter eventually curling up on his haybale, head resting on Moomin's shoulder. It's cute, and looks natural enough, but it doesn't quite sit right with her. Maybe she'll do some probing soon.

"Seriously guys, isn't Snufkin a boy?" Sniff asks a bit later when the conversation turns back to Snufkin's pregnancy, after Little My's been at the punch again, which was certainly the wrong thing to ask just then.

"Sniff you ignorant dumbass, he's half mymble." Little My admonishes (seriously, it's not so hard to guess how it's possible is it?), hissing at Snorkmaiden when she holds her back by her dress to stop her from lunging at Sniff.   


She only relaxes when the snork gives her a pleading look, and the mymble blushes a little at how easily it melts her anger away. Stupid emotions.

"If you are  _ so _ desperate to know, you should read a book." She dismisses Sniff's confused mutter of how that's a satisfactory explanation, eyes wandering over to the way Moomin loops an arm around Snufkin's waist.

It's where Snorkmaiden is looking too, and something clicks in Little My's mind.

Snorkmaiden looks so dejected when she thinks no one's looking, her smile small and honey eyes glazed over with tears Little My knows she won't shed, not even in her own home, because she thinks she's stronger than that now, that things should be easier now they aren't a couple.

Little My might not understand completely (after all, they've all known for years that her idiot brother and his best friend were more than just friends), but she can't stand to see the snork so upset. And truth be told, she does feel a small spike of anger (mainly directed at Moomintroll, because although Snufkin is just as much an equal player in… Whatever this is, he's her brother and he's just as much of an idiot as Snorkmaiden is for falling for the moomin) when she thinks of how that night in the mountains was only a week after Snorkmaiden and Moomin broke up.

Maybe they couldn't control whatever the situation was. She won't ask (ew). It still doesn't make the situation any better.

What a mess. Little My supposes she plays her own part in it, but there's no need to bring that up if no one else has noticed.

* * *

Snorkmaiden invites her over for a sleepover when the party is done, and so she accepts, because she can tell that her friend doesn't want to be alone tonight.

The walk back to her house is mostly silent, with the occasional sigh from Snorkmaiden, as though deep in thought. She probably doesn't even realise she's doing it, so Little My doesn't mention it.

It isn't until they're both snuggled under the flowery covers in Snorkmaiden's bed that she turns to Little My with an unreadable expression on her face and whispers. "Do you think I'm unloveable?"

And Little My feels a bit thrown by such a question.

"No," she answers, surely and strongly, because unlike her brother, she isn't one to think about her words for too long, finding that to cause her words to lose their meaning. But… Now what? Snorkmaiden is going to expect a reason why she thinks that way, and she can't be honest. Because as much as she calls Snufkin an idiot, she's one too. "Don't base your worth on the attention of a man, Snorkmaiden. Men suck."

She laughs softly, sniffling after, and Little My thinks of how glad she is that she can cry around her. "They really do."

If she were better, she'd tell her more. If she were braver than the bravest, stronger than the strongest, greater than the greatest, then she'd tell her exactly why she  _ knows _ Snorkmaiden isn't unloveable.

Isn't that what she deserves, after all? After all of the hurt and confusion and jealousy Moomintroll has put her through all of these years, too busy pining after Snufkin to even notice just how much he was hurting his girlfriend, doesn't she deserve to know that someone loves her the same way she loved him?

"I don't think anyone is actually unloveable," Snorkmaiden ponders aloud, bringing her paw down to rest in between the two of them on the duvet, and Little My feels an urge to grasp it flood her mind. "There must be someone out there for everyone. A soulmate. I think Moomin and Snufkin are soulmates."

She doesn't disagree. "Yeah. They're both equally stupid."

"Don't be so mean," she scolds, but her words are light and her eyes are bright again, and although the tears are still flowing, Little My knows she's been victorious in her efforts to cheer her up. "But you're right. Why did it take them so long?"

"I don't think that's the right question," My answers, letting her eyes slide up to the ceiling above their heads. "More like why  _ is  _ it taking them so long. Did you see how they kept looking suspiciously at each other? They've plotted something."

Snorkmaiden leans up so her face hovers over the mymble, brows knitted together. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure. I just know something doesn't seem right," she tries to will the blush creeping up over the collar of her nightdress down, but she can feel it stain her cheeks pink anyway, and she hopes Snorkmaiden can't see it. "I'm going to interrogate them soon."

The other laughs again, somehow both too close for comfort and not close enough. Never close enough. "Maybe they're just awkward. They've only just announced their… Relationship, give them some time to seem natural."

Little My huffs, pushing herself up into a sitting position, hands in front of her crossed legs on the bed. "No no, that's the problem, they look too natural. Practiced. Fake."

"You've had too much punch."

"No," she shakes her head, hoping what she's saying isn't upsetting the snork more. "I don't think they've confessed yet. Knowing Snufkin and his emotional constipation, they probably concocted some idiotic plan to make everything seem normal now that Snufkin is with child, but I bet they don't know they're in love with each other for real."

Snorkmaiden stops to think, eyes flitting between My and the wall, as though either of those things will answer whatever question is on her mind. "... Even if that's true… You mustn't interfere. They'll only come to resent you for it."

It's not quite what she was expecting to hear, but she's probably right. Still, she's going to probe. "Maybe," My finds herself wishing Snorkmaiden would lie back down so their faces aren't almost touching, but she doesn't, and Little My doesn't want to be the first to move away. "It's just annoying how long it's taking."

She thinks she could kiss Snorkmaiden right now, and she'd kiss back. But Little My doesn't want to just be a rebound, and Snorkmaiden deserves someone who isn't halfway to drunk.

"I know you think I'm not over Moomintroll," the snork begins, probably completely misreading the conflict on the mymble's face, but she doesn't interrupt. "And you might be right, but I do know neither of us were invested in our relationship in the way we should have been. He was too distracted and I was too devoted and it caused us to drift apart. Snufkin is definitely better for him anyway."

"Perhaps, but that doesn't mean you were bad for him," she tries to reassure her, hands scrunching up the cotton of the covers as she physically holds back from declaring something ridiculous. "It's not your fault that you were collateral damage in their confusion."

Snorkmaiden frowns at her and she flinches, but it's not meant to be hostile she knows. The snork must notice her reaction, because her face softens and she looks away. "I suppose you're right. I wonder when my soulmate will come for me."

"Maybe they already have," Little My says before she has the chance to take it back, locking her eyes directly over Snorkmaiden's head to make sure she can't show more emotion than she wants to. "I hope you won't have to wait too long."

Oh god no, wrong thing to say.

"Who? Sniff?"

"Ew no," Little My laughs, relieved that she didn't read into My's words anymore than she'd wanted her to. "Never Sniff."

"Who then?" Snorkmaiden whispers, and it feels a little too soft all of a sudden. Little My thinks she's going to get whiplash, from the way the relief rushes out of her like a sudden exhale, only to be replaced by abject fear.

"... Go to sleep, maybe we both had too much punch."

The snork huffs but blows out the candle on her bedside table before laying back down on her side, still facing the mymble as she does the same. "I think I'd be happy if it was you."

For a second, My thinks she heard wrong. There's no way Snorkmaiden just admitted to… Whatever she just admitted to, right? But her golden eyes hold a gentle vulnerability that suggests she just opened her heart again despite knowing the kind of pain she'll go through to be rejected, and Little My knows she's wrong to think anything other than the obvious.

She isn't her brother. She can be in touch with her emotions and someone else's at the same time. "I think I would be too."

They fall asleep smiling, but the conversation blurs during the night, and when they wake, it's disappeared like the stars in the sky. There, but glossed over, hidden from sight.

* * *

"I think I have some painkillers in the bathroom cupboard, you're welcome to them." Snorkmaiden hums, amusement tinting her words a cherry pink colour. Little My groans as she slips out of the bed, hair messy and nightdress crumpled; a very heavy drunk sleeper.

Her head doesn't hurt too much, and she wasn't  _ drunk  _ drunk, but the slight tension behind her eyes is enough to make her feel angry, so it's probably best she take some medicine anyway. Clambering onto the bathroom counter, My opens the medicine cupboard and rifles through different shampoos and fur conditioners to find the pills. Eventually she finds them and pops two in her mouth before drinking directly from the tap to wash them down.

Snorkmaiden stands in the doorway, paws on her hips, a  _ look _ on her face that is somewhere between fond and disapproving. "There's glasses just behind you."

My swallows, turning the tap off, mocking the snork's stance. "This was quicker."

She tuts before ushering the mymble out so she can use the toilet, letting her decide what to do now. She heads back into the bedroom and smoothes out her nightie on the way, too comfortable to change just yet. Part of her wants to take her hair out of her ponytail and brush it back into submission, but another wants to just let it down.

Deciding to live life on the edge, Little My takes her hair out of the ponytail and smoothes it into an okay-looking mess from the terrible mess it was in before. Her reflection stares back at her from the mirror on Snorkmaiden's vanity, and she sighs, watching the way her lips part with the breath, the way her hands twitch at her sides, the dark look in her eyes. Ugh.

She feels like she said too much last night, but between telling Snorkmaiden that she is loved and discussing her brother's relationship, she really isn't sure which bit  _ wasn't _ too much.

"Oh, I don't think I've ever seen you with your hair down before," Snorkmaiden exclaims from the door, shocking Little My a bit. How long has she just been staring at her reflection? How long has Snorkmaiden been standing there? "Can I brush it?"

Can she? It’s all knotted and not at all presentable. But there’s a soft vulnerability in her voice that seems reminiscent of something from last night, and her hair probably should be brushed anyway. “Sure, although it won’t be fun for either of us.”

The snork laughs joyfully, the sound like music to Little My’s ears, before she picks up the hairbrush from her vanity and checks it for stray hairs before settling behind My on the bed. “Yes it will, for me at least. If it’s knotty it might hurt.”

“I know, just be gentle.”

“Always,” Snorkmaiden promises seriously, and Little My feels her cheeks heat up. Thankfully, the other seems focused on her hair, gently sliding it through the ends of her hair and working out the knots there carefully enough that My barely even feels it. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she thinks of how roughly her mum used to put her hair up in the signature mymble ponytail, fingers pulling her hair back hard enough to feel it for days after. Compared to that, the way Snorkmaiden brushes the ginger locks feels feather-soft, almost enjoyable. “It’s not too bad, I don’t know why you were so worried.”

She was, but she doesn’t need to say it like that. “I wasn’t. I was just warning you.”

“Hmm,” she continues brushing out the knots at the tips before working her way up, and after a few minutes, Little My’s hair looks glossy and gently wavy, the stiffness of the ponytail coaxed out by Snorkmaiden’s care. The snork gathers a small section of My’s hair and slips a hair pin in it so it doesn’t fall over her face, and although she knows she won’t be keeping her hair like this for long, Little My wonders if maybe she should. Her face looks a lot softer framed by her hair like this, and she feels exposed, different, changed, but instead of feeling uncomfortable, she feels… Precious. “There, all done!”

She feels so much, something like a mixture of embarrassment and gratitude and, yeah, love, and she knows she won’t say anything yet, but hope fills her when she meets Snorkmaiden’s eyes and the smile they share hurts her cheeks and sets her heart racing. They’ve got time for confessions when everything calms down and stops being so messy. For now, Little My is content with knowing that Snorkmaiden is aware she isn’t unloveable. It doesn’t need to be anymore just yet.

**Author's Note:**

> they cute and im a mess and all i could do was succumb to the lesbian overlords and write soft lesbeans pining
> 
> (also lil my said fuck sniff rights (sorry sniff))


End file.
